Randoms

I still don't feel belonged here in the group, the nature of the Aditya Sir is good, he asked me to sing. पर रमा को जब मना किया तब रमा ने अजीब सी हिचकिचाहट दिखाई, जो कि ठीक है, जब आपको कोई मना करता है, ऐसे ही होता है, कार्तिक से अब तक बात नही हुई मेरी, और न ही कोई और इतने अच्छे से जुड़ा है मुझसे!  पर ख़ैर, कुछ क्या ही कर सकते है इस मामले में। जीवन ऐसा ही होता है, सुबह इनसे दुख मिलता है, शाम को करियर वालों से दुख मिलता है। अरे ड्रेस कोड में साले सफ़ेद कुर्ता मांग रहे है, यहां पर जीवन में पैसों का हेर फेर है क्या ही करे! संघर्ष बहुत है, जीवन में।  Rayush का दुख तो अब तक है, मुझे नही लगता है की ये दुख कभी खत्म होगा।  राज के साथ वो खुश है तो वो उसकी किस्मत।  बकवास! कार्तिक इस क्यूट। 

हम कहना तो चाहते पर कह नहीं सकते, क्या करें? कह देंगे हम, पर वो सह नही सकते, क्या करें? हाल ही में एक सुंदर रिश्ता बना है उनका, हम सिर्फ़ नाजरीन है, क्या करें? हम तो रहना चाहते थे उनकी बाहों में, पर पहले से भरी आस्तीन है, क्या करें? और मुकम्मल होगा ना कुछ भी, ए आफताब, जिंदगी गमगीन है क्या करें?  के बस चुका है आशियां उनका, ए आफताब, जुर्म ये संगीन है, क्या करें? आपके आगमन से पुलकित है तन मन, स्वागतम आपका स्वागतम। (घर पर जाकर ढूंढो)।

क़िस्मत को है ये मंज़ूर, क्या कीजिए? हो गए है वो हमसे दूर, क्या कीजिए? दिल कह रहा, उसेक तकावत कर भी आओ, वो जो कमी सी पास बाकी है, वो जो कमी सी पास बाकी है। I hate Rayush and Raj's alliance, I pray for their future, but it's super annoying, I try to get over them and they upload a video. Fuck!!!!!!!  I thought, me and Rayush could have been a super good couple, but here is Raj!!!!!!! Also, the possibilities of Rayush liking me could have been, perhaps, 0.0001 percent but still, now he belongs to someone else, I hate it. I hate this. This is wrong. It hurts like hell.....!!!  Rayush, I love you!  I am jealous of the fact the you have a boyfriend!!! Fuck! Raj is so hot!  If you were only with me. 

Pathaan is a full on SRK fan service we deserved. The plot points are nothing you have never seen before. The story is average. Yet, there's charm, cheer and funanza loaded in this action thriller and it's the weekend's masaledaar enteratainer with a superb cameo. The action scenes are gorgeous and there's no damsel in distress (Thank God for that), the woman is bold and knows what she fights for. All in all an enjoyable film watching experience one craves for. This is a fan service action film where you sit, watch, relax, enjoy and rejoice cinema. The power cinema has to bring people together, the power it has to hold the audience. Sridhar's screenplay is filled with pace and stamina but Siddharth didn't write a good story for this film. The dialogues written do support the film and have their moments. A good weekend passtime. Fun.

Why do I realise things so late. I genuinely whole heartedly feel that I and Rayush can be the best couple  BUT Rayush Is With Raj and he's happy. He loves Raj a lot. Raj loves him a lot. I won't get Rayush's love. I wanna be aesthetic, I wanna be smart, I want to look beautiful and desirable. I don't think, I am desirable. My head hurts my heart pains to let go him but I can't do anything. Since he's not in Delhi.  The phobia of not being in a relationship with someone ruined my tuning with Vaibhav.  And now, Rayush is with Raj. I want them to be together but I'm jealous. Too jealous.  I think I'm in love with Rayush.  I was in love with him but realised t quite late. पर समय तो अब चला गया, बीत गया, अब किया क्या जाए?

Today, there are two things to do, I would like to have a Bhaav Wada Paav with my while in the afternoon, which I've been missing for about 4 days. So, have to swing between the singing competition and the singing practice. It is kind of weird, I can't, you know, get viby with anyone. Though I personally feel that people have respected me. My vibe with Ankit was very good for the first few days but it deteriorated after some while, later. He complained about my pitch and stuff, it's saddening. I'm craving love, hugs to be kissed by someone special, who kind of loves me but it can't happen, Shivam is ignoring me quite a lot and this is fucking annoying, like why would you do something like this to someone. I'm not happy, too sad, but it's okay, my heart has the habit to absorb it, I think it will go away once I start earning money. I want to meet my friends, surprise them, who I vibe with them in Delhi and perhaps be in a relationship with them, hold their ha...